Tickle Your Funny Bone - Jokes and Humor

[singh890]

Husband was seriously ill.
Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don’t discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?
Wife:- .No chance for u to survive

 

[Sam Dinkar]

The eternal debate about female drivers continues........



Girl to Boy: "Which car do you have?"

Boy : "Its a 1964Pontiac GTO. 6 litre V8 with twin Weber down-draughts, King Snake cold air intake, 5 Speed Hydramatic transmission, Remus free flow exhaust with customised headers, McQueen high-compression kit with polished cylinder heads, anodised Mhale Pistons, riding on 20 inch WCC alloys with 235 section BFGs. And which car do you have?"

Girl : "I have a red one."

 

[TSIVipul]

Here is something very serious!!

GIRLFRIEND wanted.
age-19 or 18 or 17 or 16.
complexion- FAIR as snow......
Figure-preferrably 36' 24' 36.but can handle any measurements.
Status- Single..but married bhi chalegi if fullfills above conditions..LOL.
ALL SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME.!!!

 

[TSIVipul]

This is especially applicable to our married friends:-

 

[S Class]

If we were in Pakistan Our options in education Programs would be.

IIT - Islamic Institute of Terrorism

JEE - Jehadic Entrance Exam

IIM - Institute of Infiltration Management

CAT - Career in Alqueda & Taliban

IAS - Iraq After Saddam

MTech - Master in Terror Technology

GATE - General Aptitude in Terror & Extremism

IFS - Institute of Firearms and Shooting

CBSE - CrossBorder Shooting and Extremism

 

[TSIVipul]

What about the most horrifying course:-
B-Tech?

 

[nozzlering]

This is of times when there were no cellphones. Messages from and to Indian naval ships were sent by telegraph messages. As you know, getting leave in armed forces isn't an easy job. Here's what a naval ship ship received as a telegram addressed to a serving sailor onboard. The message was sent by sailor's sister.

MOTHER SERIOUS. COME BEFORE DIWALI.

 

[singh890]

Husband was throwing knives on wife’s picture. All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"
His honest reply, "MISSING U"

 

[raj_5004]

YET ANOTHER DAY IN TAI :

Iron Rock : Today I was going to this place in my XUV. Some friends in a Sumo and Dzire were with me.

TSI Vipul : How can you compare the XUV to the Sumo and Dzire. Compare it to the Laura in Petrols and Cruze in diesels.

Iron Rock : Ehh... What?

TSI Vipul : You know the Laura has a turbo petrol engine which can go from 0-100 in no time. It can take corners at 150 kmph. Everbody on the road will look at you with eyes wide open.

raj_5004 : (Hehehe)

Iron Rock : For heaven's sake, I was NOT comparing the cars... @#$&$#

S Class : UV drivers are truck drivers.

raj_5004 : (hehehehe)

The Xover : Tata Storme has a hydroformed chassis with dual mass flywheel, it can beat the XUV. And it's a TATA...

Iron Rock : (cursing himself now) OK, I am out of here.

Raja : Both cars are good. I feel XUV is good but I also feel Laura is good. Cruze is also good.

raj_5004 : (hehehehe)

Jayadev : Stop this MTV.

raj_5004 : mHawk is the best.

350Z : (How do I handle these guys) Guys, please stick to the topic. This thread is about why sunfilms should not be banned. For GOD's sakes, please read the title atleast.

 

[jayadev]

I never laughed so hard in my life....Thanx Raj!!

 

[singh890]

Hahahaa. That's a nice one Raj bhai.

 

[nickandre]

hahahaha, man that was hilarious and reading the last line by 350z made me fall on the floor.

 

[Kpaaz]

Hahahha. 350z nailed it by the last comment. Good raj u put it here.

 

[freakdude]

The BEST one in this whole thread man!!!! Simply superb creativity. The ending line from 350Z was killer.

freakdude.

 

[gears1313]

Hahahahahahaa...

The best is the last sentence:

For GOD's sakes, please read the title atleast.

ROFL!!!