Tickle Your Funny Bone - Jokes and Humor

[nmm mithra]

Girls I don't know but I guess this is gonna be a part of mine too.
1) Gtalk clean up
2) WhatsApp clearing up (BTW someone told me that WhatsApp data is restored if you reinstall it)
3) BBM clean up
4) Phone formatting

It is better to delete the presence in every social networking than cleaning it up all the stuff.

 

[Akash1886]

You mean one should become Anti-Social

Regards

Akash

It is better to delete the presence in every social networking than cleaning it up all the stuff.

 

[Tornado]

If hubby wants to know how quick his wife can run, he just needs to say, " milk on the gas burner is spilling.".
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. If wife wants know how fast her hubby can run, she just need to say, "your phone is vibrating, shall I receive it"?

 

[Tornado]

You mean one should become Anti-Social

No, not antisocial but a neo social.
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When her child’s towel was stolen during a school swimming trip, an irate parent demanded of the class teacher, “What kind of petty thieves are in class with my child?!”

“I’m sure it must have been taken accidentally,” said Teacher. “What does it look like?”

“It’s white,” said the parent. “And it says Holiday Inn on it.”

 

[shrid]

When her child’s towel was stolen during a school swimming trip, an irate parent demanded of the class teacher, “What kind of petty thieves are in class with my child?!”

“I’m sure it must have been taken accidentally,” said Teacher. “What does it look like?”

“It’s white,” said the parent. “And it says Holiday Inn on it.”

Whenever my father needs to go to another town due to work, he brings literally EVERYTHING he can (without getting into trouble). Shampoo, conditioner, minibar items, combs etc. One full bag of the stuff. Even the key card. I guess it's an Indian thing

 

[GrandRk]

Whenever my father needs to go to another town due to work, he brings literally EVERYTHING he can (without getting into trouble). Shampoo, conditioner, minibar items, combs etc. One full bag of the stuff. Even the key card. I guess it's an Indian thing

I guess the consumable products which hotel provides us like Shampoo Sachets, Small Soaps can be taken along with us if not used, because we have paid for it.

 

[shrid]

I guess the consumable products which hotel provides us like Shampoo Sachets, Small Soaps can be taken along with us if not used, because we have paid for it.

True, I was just pointing out how people (especially my father) bring things. Nothing wrong with it, except that the shampoo etc. just rots somewhere. Except the toothbrush and paste.

Off topic, but while messing around I once found a wooden, octagon-shaped "utensil" (for the lack of a better word) which looked quite premium, stowed away in a shelf high up. Father said let's take it, I said we'd better not. "Since it was stowed so high up, chances are that it does not even belong to the hotel." said my father, and we could smuggle it out.

Why did we bring it? Just for the heck of it. It is now used to store loose change

 

[Tornado]

It might be an ashtray.

 

[shrid]

Thanks to those people who forward crap on WhatsApp, I made about 100 wishes before forwarding each message which said "Forward this to 10 groups after wishing and your wish will come true".

By now, most of those "wishes" are already married.

It might be an ashtray.

We're going off-topic, but still.
Its diameter is about 22 cm, depth is about 5 cms. with walls slanting outside (unlike an ashtray where the opening is narrow, so as to prevent ash flying away). Besides, ashtrays aren't made out of wood

It was stored SO high up, I'm sure it was from some other kind of room (e.g. suite).

 

[Tornado]

Its diameter is about 22 cm, depth is about 5 cms. with walls slanting outside

My curiosity has got piqued, if possible, post the pic.

×××********×××***********×××**********
Now women's special.

If a man listens to u in less than 5 minutes then he is your dad.

If a man listens to you in 15 minutes then he is your brother.

If a man listens to you in 30 minutes then he is your son.

If a man listens to you in 1 hour then he is your boy friend.


And ultimately

If a man pretends to listens to you all the time but does not remember a word of what you said no matter how important, then he is....???????


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Yes , Yes....

You are correct!!!!!!

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deaf.
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.Everytime, why to tarnish hubby's image.?

 

[Tornado]

_Man buys a pack of cigarette_

_Warning reads_
*smoking causes impotency*

_Goes back to store,_

_says:_


"Why the heck you have given this pack? give me that cancer one''


Men will be Men.

 

[GrandRk]

A genius husband gave the keys of his new car to his wife with a warning:
"Darling! If you meet with an accident, the newspaper will print your age...so drive carefully.

 

[Tornado]

Barbara Walters was doing a story on gender roles in Afghanistan.

She noted that women customarily walked 10 feet behind their husbands.

Impressed she approached one of the Afghani women and said, "This is marvellous! What a nice gesture of respect to a husband. Is there any specific reason to this custom?"

The lady whispered, "Land Mines"

 

[TSIVipul]

This one is the joke of the month!

Tornado Saarji; you and your jokes take the cake nearly every time

 

[Tornado]

23 year old girl got pregnant.

Mother (Angrily shouts) : "Who was that pig? Call him right now".

30 mins later, a Rolls Royce stops in front of their house.

A matured grey hair man in a very expensive suit steps out.

Man : "I am sorry for the problem, but i can't marry her. But I will assure you, if a girl is born, i give her 2 shopping malls, a villa & 2 millions.

If a boy is born, I will give 2 factories & 5 millions to him.

But in case of miscarriage happens, please suggest what should I do?"
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Mother : Try again sir ....