Tickle Your Funny Bone - Jokes and Humor

[Tornado]

Hubby : on the 10th anniversary of our marriage, I will take you to Andaman Nicobar

Wife : wow!! & on, 25 th anniversary?

Hubby : I will come back there to take you home

 

[nmm mithra]

Got this one on mobile message.

Touching words by a Father!
Dear Son,
If you think your Dad, Mom & Teacher are Strict and unnecessarily harassing you...


Wait for your wife !!!

 

[Tornado]

Pune - Delhi flight.

Pilot on mike : "we will be landing soon."

But the pilot forgot to switch off the Mike, & then he said to the co-pilot, "after landing I am going to have a a hot cup of tea & then I will kiss the air hostess."

As airhostess realised that all are listening, she hurriedly ran to switch off the announcement system, but falls down as she collides with a child who was going answer nature's call.

Child to airhostess :" Didn't you hear that he said that he will first have a cup of tea? "

***********************

Father : This valentine day, if boys give you roses, accept all the roses, do not refuse at all.

Daughter :all!, Why?

Father : We will prepare Gulqand(Rose petals jam) and eat.

 

[Tornado]

It is believed that 'Airlift' movie was based on True Events almost till the end ....
But, then they showed a slim, young & polite air hostess in an Air India flight.

**********


On Fourteenth Feb atleast eat a khajoor(date),
.
.
.
.
. So that you can say, "I had a date on valentine day".

****************
Pune special.
Domino's pizza call center: Hello, this is Domino's Pizza 'How may I help you.
Joshi Aunty : How toh prepare cheese pizza at home?

 

[Tornado]

Husbands calls up daily to his in laws's home to enquire about his wife who had gone there in anger after a quarrel.

MIL : Why the heck you are calling daily,? Hundred times we have told you that she is 'no more' for you...

Husband :Because, it feels nice to the ears to listen..

 

[Tornado]

Valentine day special :

'I love you' is a mathematical function where,

'I love' - is constant and
'you' - is a variable..

**********************

Hubby gives white rose to wife.

Wife : on valentine day, red rose is given, why this white?

Hubby : In life, more than love& friendship, I need peace...

 

[Tornado]

Dr : There is an internal disease in side you, which is burrowing your health slowly.

Patient : Dr please talk slowly, she is sitting outside in the waiting lounge only.

 

[shrid]

A Crazy Girl: Hey please let me know a Roses are Red, Violets are Blue poem you've made

Her Boyfriend: I'm not a poet, I'm just sorry

Girl: What? You say 'no' to ME? Your GIRLFRIEND? Recite a poem before me RIGHT NOW!

Boy: Wait, I got one.

Boy:

Roses are Red, Violets are blue
If I had to commit suicide, I'd jump from your ego level,
Right down to that of your IQ.

 

[Tornado]

Government has banned Indian couples from going abroad for honeymoon, also Tour & travel companies have been asked to stop offering abroad honeymoon packages...


because..


PM said, "Make in India".

 

[Tornado]

Valentine day special..

Wife : what's the difference between Wife & GF?

Hubby : hmm... might be 25 odd kilograms!

********************

Notice for the parents :
For today's evening walk go to nearby mall, you might happen to see your future SIL or DIL there.

*************

 

[Tornado]

One sentence which is enough to ruin career of a friend.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Bro, She' is looking at you only ".

 

[TSIVipul]

^^Spot on, more beautiful the girl is and more the number of eye contacts... More is the guy ruined

 

[nmm mithra]

Teacher: who is the biggest fool here in this class?, please stand.

Two students in between them "shall we stand" and they stand.

Teacher: very good and what is the reason behind you two being a fool.

Two students: No sir, there is no reason.
Teacher: then why are you two standing ?

Two students: sir we felt so bad that you were alone standing so we two accompanied you.

 

[Tornado]

Gal : What will you do, if I die.

Boy :I will also die soon after that.

Gal : (in poignant tone) but why?

Boy : To maintain this relationship, I have borrowed money from so many people that it is better to die...


**************
Shortest route becomes long when there is nobody to accompany you.
.
.

.
.
.
. Longest route becomes shortest when a barking dog follows you.

 

[shrid]

SMS message:
"Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart, You are blessed with both! FLATTERED?. Don't Be, it was sent to me, I just wanted you to read it."