Tickle Your Funny Bone - Jokes and Humor

[jayadev]

Re: The Jokes Thread

The jokes were all good, thanks to the members. But there is a bit of problem. I have been seeing that there a lot of Sardar jokes floating around. This is not good at all. The sardars were targeted by the Britishers in their jokes in retaliation to their fight for freedom. So this has continued to become sort of culture today. This is really bad and i am writing this because an incident related to this happened today. Our accountant, who is a Sikh, was sitting beside me in my car. I was reading this thread on my laptop when Mr.Suri, casually looked at the screen asking what i was reading. I told him without noticing that it was a joke thread on TAI. He started reading it and on coming to the $1 joke, he calmly asked me why it was like this. I was speechless there but here i am requesting everyone to stop using the Sardar title. Believe me we have been very closely associated with Sikhs and it hurts them very much.

one of the most respected people /community in my heart is Sikh Sardar (i believe in India too it is same) due to lot of reasons which needs no special mentioning here. and it is impeccably true that their very simple nature and way of living brings a lot of sense of humour , which we all are really a big fan of.

it is nothing to hurt nor to spread any kind of myth that they are anywhere bad or incompetent with rest of world .

if we consider in optimistic way we can understand that it is always those high profile or high calibre personalities are whom people consider as subject of humour or fun , which should be positively a sign of respect and consideration of highest standard.

i wish we should not disregard those jokes as unpleasant and insensible rather we should accept it as one of the best which makes us laugh and smile worth to remember.

ps:i feel so helpless as i am one of the biggest fan of jokes from Kushwant Singhji. i wish our Sikh brothers do realise how much we value them and it was not britishers but him who revolutionized jokes in india with his unique treatment ,made India and world to laugh off there heels.

no offence to any one and forgive me if those jokes did hurt somebody.

 

[350Z]

Re: The Jokes Thread

Previous posts deleted. Let's now stick to the main theme of this thread.

Drive Safe,
350Z

 

[cooldhaya]

Re: The Jokes Thread

@ Pointcity All those leave letter applications were very funny!

 

[AMG]

Re: The Jokes Thread

IS GOD MALE OR FEMALE






YOUR ANSWER?






THINK HARD






MALE






WHY?






He likes POOJA, AARTHI, UPASANA .......................

 

[jayadev]

Re: The Jokes Thread

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Alberta when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ..

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response..

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Member of Parliament for the Canadian Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. .....

Now give me back my dog.

 

[auto_luver]

Re: The Jokes Thread

Good one Jayadev, laughed at it

 

[AMG]

Re: The Jokes Thread

Teacher: Tum baray ho kar kiya karogay?
Student: Shaadi ...

Teacher: Naheen, mera matlab hai kya banogay?
Student: Dulha !!!

Teacher: Oh, I mean baray ho kar kya hasil karoge?
Student: Dulhan

Teacher: Idiot... mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa kay liye kya karoge?
Student: bahoo laaunga

Teacher: Stupid... tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain?
Student: pota

Teacher: Hay bhagwan, tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
Student: hum do humare do, jab tak teesra na ho !!!

 

[Zal]

Re: The Jokes Thread

Teacher: Tum baray ho kar kiya karogay?
Student: Shaadi ...

Teacher: Naheen, mera matlab hai kya banogay?
Student: Dulha !!!

Teacher: Oh, I mean baray ho kar kya hasil karoge?
Student: Dulhan

Teacher: Idiot... mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa kay liye kya karoge?
Student: bahoo laaunga

Teacher: Stupid... tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain?
Student: pota

Teacher: Hay bhagwan, tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
Student: hum do humare do, jab tak teesra na ho !!!

Can you translate to English please for non Hindi speakers

 

[jayadev]

Re: The Jokes Thread

Law of Conservation of Rajni
All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa... mind it!!!

 

[alok_student2000]

Re: The Jokes Thread

Can you translate to English please for non Hindi speakers

Teacher: what will u do when u grow up?
Student: Marriage...

Teacher: I mean what will you be?
Student: Groom !!!

Teacher: Oh, I mean what will you achieve when u grow up?
Student: Bride !!

Teacher: Idiot... I meant what will you do for your parents when you grow up?
Student: Bring home a Bride !!!

Teacher: Stupid... what does your dad want from you?
Student: grandson..

Teacher: God..,what is the aim of yor life ?
Student: we two our two, till there is no third !!!

 

[alok_student2000]

Re: Joke

I was STUMBLEing and came across this funny joke on the net.

Apology Letter from the Wife​

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I
accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.
The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when
it bumped into your car.
I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will
forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.
I am enclosing a picture for you.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife.
XXX

View attachment 13193

HAHAHAHAHAHA That is y i started this thread called "your car vs girlfriend" so that such unlucky people can controll their tears...:P

 

[alok_student2000]

Re: The Jokes Thread

Who Is The Most HARDWorkiNg Guy iN MTV Roadies Xcept Raghu, Rajeev N RaNvijay??
.
.
.
.
....
.
The 1 Who operates d BEEP #### BUTTON...!!

LOLZ..haha

 

[alok_student2000]

Re: The Jokes Thread

I just made this one up.

Ultimate Torture is when your Birthday is one day after your result

PS: this is happening to me. My result on 16th, birthday on 17th.
I am devastated..

Sad to know that..but seriously dude I just cant stop laughing at it..LOLZZZ..Sorry yar..

 

[AMG]

Re: The Jokes Thread

^

Never mind dude.

#1 that was a year old(almost)
#2 the result god delayed, anyway.

 

[alok_student2000]

Re: The Jokes Thread

^

Never mind dude.

#1 that was a year old(almost)
#2 the result god delayed, anyway.

And how was the result??