Tickle Your Funny Bone - Jokes and Humor
- Thread Starter Auto Hub India
- Start date
Advance apologies if any member/Moderator finds this one to be poliitically incorrect:
80,000 sardars meet at the Punjab capital for a "Sardars Are Not Stupid
Convention."
Banta Singh, the president of Wise Sardar Inc., says, "We are all here today
to prove to the world that sardars are not stupid.
Can I have a volunteer?"
One sardar, Santa Singh steps up and proudly walks up to the podium.
Banta asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds, he says, "Eighteen." Obviously,everyone is a little
disappointed. Then 80,000 sardars start cheering, "Give him another chance,
give him another chance."
Banta says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you
here and the world wide press, I guess we can give him another chance." So
he says, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds, santa eventually says, "Ninety?" Banta sighs -
everyone is crestfallen and the sardars starts crying and yelling "Give him another chance, give him another chance."
Banta, unsure whether he is doing more harm than good, eventually says,
"Ok! One last chance. What is 2 plus 2?"
Santa closes his eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "F......o.......u......r???"
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 sardars jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "Give him another chance,give him another chance."
80,000 sardars meet at the Punjab capital for a "Sardars Are Not Stupid
Convention."
Banta Singh, the president of Wise Sardar Inc., says, "We are all here today
to prove to the world that sardars are not stupid.
Can I have a volunteer?"
One sardar, Santa Singh steps up and proudly walks up to the podium.
Banta asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds, he says, "Eighteen." Obviously,everyone is a little
disappointed. Then 80,000 sardars start cheering, "Give him another chance,
give him another chance."
Banta says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you
here and the world wide press, I guess we can give him another chance." So
he says, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds, santa eventually says, "Ninety?" Banta sighs -
everyone is crestfallen and the sardars starts crying and yelling "Give him another chance, give him another chance."
Banta, unsure whether he is doing more harm than good, eventually says,
"Ok! One last chance. What is 2 plus 2?"
Santa closes his eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "F......o.......u......r???"
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 sardars jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "Give him another chance,give him another chance."
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Once it so happened in a flight that, James Bond was sitting besides a Telugu guy.
Both were traveling to US.
Telugu Guy : "Hello Saaaar, may I know your name please?"
James Bond : "I am Bond.. James Bond. And you?"
Telugu Guy : "I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai...Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai ...Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.."
And from that day onwards, whenever James Bond is asked his name, he simply says "James Bond".
Both were traveling to US.
Telugu Guy : "Hello Saaaar, may I know your name please?"
James Bond : "I am Bond.. James Bond. And you?"
Telugu Guy : "I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai...Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai ...Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.."
And from that day onwards, whenever James Bond is asked his name, he simply says "James Bond".
![[cry]](https://www.theautomotiveindia.com/forums/images/smilies/Cry.gif "Cry [cry]")
7 reasons why I chose ENGINEERING...
1) I hate 2 Rest
2) I have already enjoyed life in childhood.
3) I luv tension.
4) I don't want to spend time with family..
5) I want to take revenge from myself
6) I luv 2 study on Sundays &
holidays THE BEST ONE
7) Pass hone ki khushi bardasht nahi
hoti thi yaar, kasam se..!![[:D]](https://www.theautomotiveindia.com/forums/images/smilies/Big%20Smile.gif "Big Smile [:D]")
1) I hate 2 Rest
2) I have already enjoyed life in childhood.
3) I luv tension.
4) I don't want to spend time with family..
5) I want to take revenge from myself
6) I luv 2 study on Sundays &
holidays THE BEST ONE
7) Pass hone ki khushi bardasht nahi
hoti thi yaar, kasam se..!
7 reasons why I chose ENGINEERING...
1) I hate 2 Rest
2) I have already enjoyed life in childhood.
3) I luv tension.
4) I don't want to spend time with family..
5) I want to take revenge from myself
6) I luv 2 study on Sundays &
holidays THE BEST ONE
7) Pass hone ki khushi bardasht nahi
hoti thi yaar, kasam se..!
1) I hate 2 Rest
2) I have already enjoyed life in childhood.
3) I luv tension.
4) I don't want to spend time with family..
5) I want to take revenge from myself
6) I luv 2 study on Sundays &
holidays THE BEST ONE
7) Pass hone ki khushi bardasht nahi
hoti thi yaar, kasam se..!
I cannot tolerate the happiness of passing in exams. ![[lol]](https://www.theautomotiveindia.com/forums/images/smilies/Laugh.gif "Laugh [lol]")
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years. Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied: "I didn't recognize you!" !!
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years. Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied: "I didn't recognize you!" !!
This one is ultimate:
Dentist to Manmohan Singh: "Sir, please open your mouth, AT LEAST IN MY CLINIC."
Dentist to Manmohan Singh: "Sir, please open your mouth, AT LEAST IN MY CLINIC."
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Girl: Call me Dear...
Boy: My Dear....!
Girl: Call me sweetheart...
Boy: My sweetheart...!
Girl: Call me honey...
...Boy: My honey...!
Girl: Hey fool. Call me da.. No balance to call you.
Boy: oh... :/ ok ok...!! :P
-----
Wife : I Hate That Beggar
Husband :Why ?
.
Wife :Rascal, Yesterday I Gave Him Food..Today He Gave Me a Book..
"How to Cook" :X !!:P
Boy: My Dear....!
Girl: Call me sweetheart...
Boy: My sweetheart...!
Girl: Call me honey...
...Boy: My honey...!
Girl: Hey fool. Call me da.. No balance to call you.
Boy: oh... :/ ok ok...!! :P
-----
Wife : I Hate That Beggar
Husband :Why ?
.
Wife :Rascal, Yesterday I Gave Him Food..Today He Gave Me a Book..
"How to Cook" :X !!:P
really good
second one very nice
second one very nice
Hello SUN MUSIC TELEVISION?
LADY: Yes, Where r u calling from?
Caller: T Nagar
LAD: Hey.. Me too from T.nagar, Which area in T. Nagar
Cal :AI Apartments.
LADY- What.. mee to lives in same apartment. What is ur flat no?
Cal: Flat No.13
LADY: Sir, Dont tease me. That is my flat.
Caller: Hey fool, Am you husband. "WHERE IS THE FLAT KEY IDOT?"!
LADY: Yes, Where r u calling from?
Caller: T Nagar
LAD: Hey.. Me too from T.nagar, Which area in T. Nagar
Cal :AI Apartments.
LADY- What.. mee to lives in same apartment. What is ur flat no?
Cal: Flat No.13
LADY: Sir, Dont tease me. That is my flat.
Caller: Hey fool, Am you husband. "WHERE IS THE FLAT KEY IDOT?"!