Tickle Your Funny Bone - Jokes and Humor

[TSIVipul]

^^Saarji you also should have stood last in the queue and announced "today I will open the office only after my turn has came". I can bet that the same uncle would have lifted you on his shoulder and you would have reached the chair without your feet even touching the ground.


Another one

A guy used to go fishing every Sunday.

One Sunday evening....

Wife: Darling where did you go every Sunday?

Hubby (in low tone): Fishing dear, don't you know? I go for it every Sunday.

Wife: Yaa that fish came home today just to tell me that she is pregnant..

Silence...

 

[shrid]

No offence meant to any engineer

One day, a doctor, lawyer and engineer were travelling by boat.

Doctor was pretty rich and decides to show off. He takes out a 100 Rs. note and throws it in the water. Said, "100 rupees mean nothing to me!"

Lawyer then takes out 10 1000 rupee notes (Rs. 10,000) and throws them all into the water. "Beat that!" he said.

On hearing this, engineer simply took out his cheque book, wrote a bearer check of Rs. 1 Crore and threw it in the water. "1 Crore is nothing", said he, smoking his cigarette like a boss.

****

An businessman once went to the temple. He was very rich. After his Darshan, the priest requested him to donate something to the temple. Businessman smiled, wrote a cheque, put it in an envelope and gave it to the priest.

After taking the prasad, just as the businessman was leaving, the priest opened the envelope and saw a cheque for 10 Lakh rupees, but it wasn't signed. So he stops the man, and asks him why he hasn't signed the cheque. Businessman replies "I only make anonymous donations."

 

[Tornado]

Pharmacist to a routine customer. : I have told you hundred times, whenever you need a medicine for headche, you need to show me doctor's prescription. Why the heck you show me your 'marriage certificate' everytime?

 

[Akash1886]

How a married man benefits from the "Odd-Even" Traffic Rule!!​

* He can avoid going for shopping with wife sighting this rule.

* Can save a lot of money that actually went into wife's un-needful expenses.

* He also can avoid going to in-laws place on a particular day.

* Doesn't have to answer wife's un-ending questions about giving lift to a female colleague. Car pool is one of the solutions to it after-all.

* He can party with friends after office and on pretext of dropping them home can easily come home late.

* Wife can't question upon "accidentally" finding belongings of another female inside husband's car. He may easily get away sighting car-pool idea.

* To avoid the constant nagging of the wife, husband can leave home early on pretext of picking up colleagues.

* Can easily chat at night with colleagues about next day's pick up plan and avoid wife's random talks.

Written in the interest of all married men out there!!
​

Regards

Akash

 

[Lameassonwheels]

And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.
Then he made the earth round..and laughed and laughed and laughed

No offence meant to any engineer. One day, a doctor, lawyer and engineer were travelling by boat.

Why any engineer would get offended by this?. In fact any doctor or lawyer might get offended for showing them as braggart and stupid .

 

[TSIVipul]

Why any engineer would get offended by this?. In fact any doctor or lawyer might get offended for showing them as braggart and stupid .

Since engineers frequently do the stupid stuff hence maybe he felt that engineers will feel offended by not making an engineer do the 'stupid'.

 

[atlex123]

BMW Auto complaint.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S3mzAzOl6o

I guess its a prank

 

[shrid]

Reposting from another thread:

 

[atlex123]

Wrong Number

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj4B5tKSTvM

Men will be Men :)

 

[nmm mithra]

Back to Back Posts.Please Use Multi-Quote feature

Reposting from another thread

Most of the women are concerned only about their things alone.

How a married man benefits from the "Odd-Even" Traffic Rule!!​

* He can avoid going for shopping with wife sighting this rule.

* Can save a lot of money that actually went into wife's un-needful expenses.

* He also can avoid going to in-laws place on a particular day.

* Doesn't have to answer wife's un-ending questions about giving lift to a female colleague. Car pool is one of the solutions to it after-all.

* He can party with friends after office and on pretext of dropping them home can easily come home late.

* Wife can't question upon "accidentally" finding belongings of another female inside husband's car. He may easily get away sighting car-pool idea.

* To avoid the constant nagging of the wife, husband can leave home early on pretext of picking up colleagues.

* Can easily chat at night with colleagues about next day's pick up plan and avoid wife's random talks.

Written in the interest of all married men out there!!
​

Regards

Akash

Any Wife in the country may answer the following and husbands will not have any other words to say:

Any women may suggest her husband to get another vehicle with odd/even number in it. Even though if husbands say that they don't have any money then they would suggest the husbands to get a loan and buy a Nano or alto to manoeuver the heavy traffic's.

Never experienced it, just my suggestion or thinking.

 

[Akash1886]

Any Wife in the country may answer the following

Any women may suggest her husband to get another vehicle with odd/even number in it. Even though if husbands say that they don't have any money then they would suggest the husbands to get a loan and buy a Nano or alto to manoeuver the heavy traffic's.

In-short, you may never want to see a married man at peace or being happy even for a while!!! Is it??You probably believe, a married man can never trick his wife!! No matter how much he may try.

Regards

Akash

 

[nmm mithra]

Any women may suggest her husband to get another vehicle with odd/even number in it.

If wife says/suggests us to buy another car then buy an SUV/Crossover of your own choice and as you suggested car pool everyday instead of intermediate days and have a happy life.

In-short, you may never want to see a married man at peace or being happy even for a while!!! Is it??You probably believe, a married man can never trick his wife!! No matter how much he may try.

No, still a married man can live in peace when his wife suggests another car to buy then, buy a car of your own choice and car pool anyone of your choice alone and not her choice.

And if wife suggested a man to buy another car with odd/even number then she is paving a better way to a married man to live in peace. So each and everything suggested by the wife to a man makes the man to live in peace that even the man couldn't have imagined.

And with her idea of buying another car a married man can car pool everyday any female colleague of your own choice. (Think of this one Akash Sir) So this is one way to trick the wife.

 

[TSIVipul]

^^Saarji the issue is that Akash has his own thing when it comes to work and hence there is minute probability for him to get a female colleague for ride sharing everyday. Second is me; I haveyself forgot when it was last time I dealt with a woman in terms of work.

In other words: You write that again and I am out with a gun searching for you

 

[Auto_Pilot]

All this talk of men buying another car and traveling with girls on the name of car pool. Now the wife says hey honey we need another car now due to even odd scheme. Now you are happy and started dreaming that you will have now 2 cars to impress your female colleagues.

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New car comes home and you are
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Now, she takes the keys and says thanks honey. You are so sweeeeet. Now I can go to my office in my own car on all days.

 

[TSIVipul]

^^Here we have got first exploited husband who is now indirectly giving advises to all the wives.