Dealing with Post-Accident Symptom!

[furious_driver]

You read it right! So it finally happened to me. After so many years of driving, I had an hole in my record(ego bruised!). I thanked my stars because it was just minor one!

I was on my way to home, back from my moms place. It just 20kms for my place. I was cruising @ 50kmph. A biker trying to take right, put on his blinkers and wave hands, but still not crossed road due to flowing vehicles. And the dumb me, thought I can squeeze in with the Dzire just ahead of me. But I was wrong. They had enough space to take right and they did, but before I realize and braked hard, I hit them already. Since speed was down to 40kmph that time, braking was smooth and impact was less! I had hit the bike storage bin they keep behind, and bikers fell down and escaped with just couple of bruises. We were in shock! My wife and kid is in complete shock, I was shivering. One of the biker just got up real soon and I told him, "Wait, I will park on the right side, and we will speak.". I told my wife to stay inside and lock the car. She was in state of shock and almost in verge of crying, but controlled!

As I open the door, my hands were shivering and I was a train wreck! I managed to go to them, offered them some water. As you all aware, crowd gathered. I said I am sorry! Did you hurt badly? And they said no. Just some bruises and sprain. And before they even start blaming, people gathered started yelling at bikers, saying it was all their fault. I was surprised. And a couple of guys told me to leave the place as there is no big damage for any of them. I apologized them again and left the place. I drove for another 5kms, stopped the car at my sisters place and took some rest, to clear my mind!

So, here's what happened. I saw them just about 2-car's-length, but I managed to brake little late. My mind went blank for a second(and I still don't know why it happened?) and when it came back, I banged them already! Post this incident, I was literally shook hard and lost all my confidence I gathered over all these years of driving.

If it is not for the gentlemen who helped us get out of the mess safely, things would have been scary, or even terrible! I still can't figure out what went wrong? I was driving for over 200+kms that day and never once I took my eyes off road or mis-judge. I still feel guilty, as I don't know who is to blame here. I hardly remember anything happened that time. Even my wife can't recall anything due to the state of shock. So I went to see a doctor and see if something is wrong with me. But it turns out, nothing is wrong with me(According to him!).

Was my mind stuck for a second, which made this happen? If so, can't I ever drive? Even if I drive, will my wife feel safer with me like before? There are lot of questions which arise after the accident. Even with all these things in my mind, I thought to take my car for a spin. I took it, but this time, I deeply inhaled. Put on my favorite song and start the journey. I know it is not the first time I am driving the car, but this felt different. My palms are sweating even in A/C and somewhere in the back of my mind, I had doubt on my abilities. I drove for service center and cam back. But I felt really queasy, with this drive of just 8kms!!!! I never had such feeling while driving, even when I was learning.

So to put myself out of this misery, all I did was, took the car to nearby places very often to build up my confidence(or EGO!). I always had this thought in my mind, I am the safest driver in the world and this incident proved me wrong! But still, life has to move on. Instead of sitting and regretting, I plan to move on. So I did this.

* Repair the minor scratches in bumper, which is reminding me of the incident everyday.
* Try to use my bike for few days, so I can get ride of this thought.
* And drive even more carefully when inside city, to avoid any such mis-fortunate to happen in future!!
* Not feel guilty for something I can't even recall.
* As usual, always wear seatbelt. Yes, the speed was low, but seat belt is what kept my wife and kid in place and of course me. I always pressure the passenger to wear one and this incident helped my wife realize why I said so.
* Don't even judge bikers. Give them their right of way. Road is not only for cars. If only I had waited for them, this would never happened.
* When riding inside town, keep your speed as low as 50kmph(I always do this) to avoid any major mishap from happening. If I had not been following this rule, and cruising @ 70, things would have been different. The impact might have been high and even result in something major.

There are certain things, which we can't do anything about once it happened. And this is one of them. So just stick to basic rules, try to keep you calm while driving and don't judge and blame other's even when they are at mistake. My uncle always tells me, even if it is the bikers fault, I blame you. Because you could have avoided this if you were cautious and it is true. I started driving my car, and from now on, I will be extra cautious. Because this is our roads and you have to be careful all the time!

 

[generalmax]

Going by your account,the accident was caused by the bikers themselves.You didn't see the bikers getting in front of you, not because you went blind, its because they swayed in to your lane fast and they would have braked also.Don't be upset about your driving style. By faith or by luck, it was a minor accident. And accidents are just accidents,it happens.

Ride calm .

 

[furious_driver]

Thanks @generalmax. As I mentioned, I can't recall any of the events. So I don't want to blame bikers. It is the thought that kept bugging me. What happened if I had drove little faster? I would have end up in jail(too much, I know, but it comes in my mind) or someone might have hurt badly or even dead! I was always super cautious when I drive, and even after that, this happened. And that is what shook me hard. I am getting back on track now, and my car is in service center now. So, I hope things will be back to normal for me. Else, it would seriously damage my morale and my driving!

 

[GrandRk]

Hello furious_driver, i can understand that it is really scary moment to see such things happening. Thank god that you and your family is safe, biker is also safe too !!

What you mentioned is true that we have to be extra cautious when driving in city. Though how much we curse bikers, but finally the road is to be shared with everyone. Just relax and try to forget what has happen, pay thanks to god and move on in your life !!

Just try to calm your kid if he is still in shock. I am sure that your wife will overcome this and will have same trust on your driving like before. Always remember that time is healing factor which teaches you something and lapse. This incident taught you and all of us to be extra cautious on roads.

 

[furious_driver]

Thanks @GrandRk. Wise words! My kid was in shock, but as you know, he just forget about it the next day .

I never curse bikers, because I ride my bike more than my car, for the sheer simplicity and ease of drive in traffic. Whatever I drive, I always make it a point to give way to other vehicles. And this incident pushed that belief further down my throat, to emphasize it, I guess.

I am slowly getting back on track. I will be a liar if I say this incident don't haunt me now and then, but it is much better now. After analyzing for some good time, I come to a conclusion. The reason I feel like this is, because in my mind, I always picture myself as great driver and nothing as such ever happen to me. And when it happens, this is what you feel.

 

[Sidd7hartha]

What you mentioned is true that we have to be extra cautious when driving in city. Though how much we curse bikers, but finally the road is to be shared with everyone.

True, that the road is to be shared with everyone. But my experience, particularly bikers do not follow road rules. I don't know why, it is their inherent tendency to overtake cars / buses from wrong side and apply sudden break in front. Whenever I get down from buses [ Buses stop on the left side of road] always some bikers try to over take through the narrow space between left curb and the bus without taking note of the people getting down from the buses. Road rules apply to car driver and bikers equally. But in all cases car driver is held responsible.

 

[furious_driver]

@Sidd7hartha

I agree with you in this regards. But in the end, it is the big vehicle that gets the blame. So better safe than sorry is what I follow!

The things you mention with bikers, I see it every day and yet I never did something like that. Reason, I value my life more than this. I better arrive late safely than dead. Max speed I do in my bike is 60km/h in open stretches. But you can easily see people do the same in city traffic!

 

[GrandRk]

Here i can recollect the incident which happened to me 2-3 months back. I was driving along with my family on a busy road, on such road i usually put 2nd gear and leave accelerator. The car was gliding on say 20-30 Kmph, there was women who was walking on the side of the road in straight direction.
Too my surprise when i was about to pass her she hurriedly turned right and came in front of my car, thanks to my reflexes that i somehow steered entire car in other direction braking it hard. But somehow, my left side mirror softly touched her shoulder.

She crossed the road and went on her way like nothing has happened. Here my heart was in my mouth and i was stranded in middle of road with non stop honking from behind. This incident taught me to be extra cautious with pedestrians.

Now furious_drivers post taught us that we should be really extra extra cautious on the roads. I have made up my mind that in India we have to accept these things and move on.

 

[furious_driver]

Here i can recollect the incident which happened to me 2-3 months back. I was driving along with my family on a busy road, on such road i usually put 2nd gear and leave accelerator. The car was gliding on say 20-30 Kmph, there was women who was walking on the side of the road in straight direction.
Too my surprise when i was about to pass her she hurriedly turned right and came in front of my car, thanks to my reflexes that i somehow steered entire car in other direction braking it hard. But somehow, my left side mirror softly touched her shoulder.

She crossed the road and went on her way like nothing has happened. Here my heart was in my mouth and i was stranded in middle of road with non stop honking from behind. This incident taught me to be extra cautious with pedestrians.

Most of the pedestrians always think the car/biker will take care of their life.

Now furious_drivers post taught us that we should be really extra extra cautious on the roads. I have made up my mind that in India we have to accept these things and move on.

Exactly! Accept and move on, is the only thing to do. No way to educate them all in one day!

 

[sushant_infotag]

So to put myself out of this misery, all I did was, took the car to nearby places very often to build up my confidence(or EGO!). I always had this thought in my mind, I am the safest driver in the world and this incident proved me wrong! But still, life has to move on. Instead of sitting and regretting, I plan to move on. So I did this.

* Repair the minor scratches in bumper, which is reminding me of the incident everyday.
* Try to use my bike for few days, so I can get ride of this thought.
* And drive even more carefully when inside city, to avoid any such mis-fortunate to happen in future!!
* Not feel guilty for something I can't even recall.
* As usual, always wear seatbelt. Yes, the speed was low, but seat belt is what kept my wife and kid in place and of course me. I always pressure the passenger to wear one and this incident helped my wife realize why I said so.
* Don't even judge bikers. Give them their right of way. Road is not only for cars. If only I had waited for them, this would never happened.
* When riding inside town, keep your speed as low as 50kmph(I always do this) to avoid any major mishap from happening. If I had not been following this rule, and cruising @ 70, things would have been different. The impact might have been high and even result in something major.

There are certain things, which we can't do anything about once it happened. And this is one of them. So just stick to basic rules, try to keep you calm while driving and don't judge and blame other's even when they are at mistake. My uncle always tells me, even if it is the bikers fault, I blame you. Because you could have avoided this if you were cautious and it is true. I started driving my car, and from now on, I will be extra cautious. Because this is our roads and you have to be careful all the time!

The way you drive cautiously at low speeds, thinking about others on the road too. You are already doing a lot more than one can ask from a sensible driver.

I hope you have regained your confidence by now. Also the best way to go about it is not to overthink it. Things happen and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. Rather than overthinking it one needs to just let it go.

Just do your karma and leave the rest to god.

BTW I'm again posting on an year old thread. I hope you won't get mad at me.

 

[bhvm]

Hello FD,
I loved the way you can penn your thoughts with full emotion & Down to earth feeling. its great to listen no damage was done. Scratches can be taken care by Buffing or Touch up. Sometimes one has to be strong and move on. Its their mistake after all.

This generic ill educated public always expects the oncomer to "Save" Them. Despite their wrong driving. Don't let that hurt your pride. Good luck!

 

[chevrolet]

Accidents happen, once a learner in bike overtook me cut me in front and had his bike switch off , i hit his number plate. Not my fault but paid 100 rs( agreed as i found the amount small and funny for the damage).

I like to state some things regarding the accident you went by,

1. Most time when driving we cannot remember things, i drive thinking about somethin for kms like this.

2. you said you drove 200kms, mostly during these long drives you get tired and accidents may occur at the final parts of the journey.
Sometimes after cruising at 100km/hr, mind feels difficult to do slow speeds.

3. Your use of bike may interfere your driving skills, both are different .

4. Amateur bikers and old people on two wheelers mimic the youngsters or rash bikers in doing stunts on their bikes get into accidents which are blamed on the other party.

Good thing you knew the importance of seat belts.

 

[vishalpsali]

Hello Furious Driver,
Thank god that you and your family is safe and it was just a minor accident.
But here I would like to mention a small incident that happened with a friend of my friend. It was a similar accident, minor bruises to bikers, he got out of car helped them collected there belongings, offered water etc. He also asked them if they need any other help etc. The bikers did not say anything and left the place. The guy thought that was all and he went about his routines.
One fine day he receives a call from a local police station that a HIT and RUN case has been registered against him. He was shocked, he informed that I did not run, I got out helped them and it was their fault. The police said that the bikers have filed a case and there are witness too.
So he had to go through a lot of pain to get the issue settled and shelled out more than 8000/- as fines and bribes etc. Finally the traffic police informed him that we know you were not at fault but what you should have done is to take those guys to nearest clinic/hospital etc and inform nearest police station. If he would have done this he could have avoided all the pain. So a lesson was learnt that we should take these guys to hospital etc (willingly or forcefully) and inform nearest police station.

 

[furious_driver]

The way you drive cautiously at low speeds, thinking about others on the road too. You are already doing a lot more than one can ask from a sensible driver.

I hope you have regained your confidence by now. Also the best way to go about it is not to overthink it. Things happen and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. Rather than overthinking it one needs to just let it go.

Just do your karma and leave the rest to god.

BTW I'm again posting on an year old thread. I hope you won't get mad at me.

Thanks for the words and no, I'm not going to be mad at anyone! I actually kinda forgot the whole thing in a couple of months and now I'm more cautious than before!

Hello FD,
I loved the way you can penn your thoughts with full emotion & Down to earth feeling. its great to listen no damage was done. Scratches can be taken care by Buffing or Touch up. Sometimes one has to be strong and move on. Its their mistake after all.

This generic ill educated public always expects the oncomer to "Save" Them. Despite their wrong driving. Don't let that hurt your pride. Good luck!

Thanks for your words buddy! This is the main reason why I don't ride bike. Even if I drive extra carefully, I can't do anything if a bike that supposed to overtake me turn left without indicating!

Accidents happen, once a learner in bike overtook me cut me in front and had his bike switch off , i hit his number plate. Not my fault but paid 100 rs( agreed as i found the amount small and funny for the damage).

I like to state some things regarding the accident you went by,

1. Most time when driving we cannot remember things, i drive thinking about somethin for kms like this.

2. you said you drove 200kms, mostly during these long drives you get tired and accidents may occur at the final parts of the journey.
Sometimes after cruising at 100km/hr, mind feels difficult to do slow speeds.

3. Your use of bike may interfere your driving skills, both are different .

4. Amateur bikers and old people on two wheelers mimic the youngsters or rash bikers in doing stunts on their bikes get into accidents which are blamed on the other party.

Good thing you knew the importance of seat belts.

Yes. I preach it everyday to my family. I insist every person sitting on car to wear the same. I still shudder to think about what would've happened, if my wife didn't buckled up. My then 1.5 year old toddler would have been tossed up to windshield and it is real hard to think, even now! Now it becomes a habit for me, to wear seat belt the moment I enter the car!

Hello Furious Driver,
Thank god that you and your family is safe and it was just a minor accident.
But here I would like to mention a small incident that happened with a friend of my friend. It was a similar accident, minor bruises to bikers, he got out of car helped them collected there belongings, offered water etc. He also asked them if they need any other help etc. The bikers did not say anything and left the place. The guy thought that was all and he went about his routines.
One fine day he receives a call from a local police station that a HIT and RUN case has been registered against him. He was shocked, he informed that I did not run, I got out helped them and it was their fault. The police said that the bikers have filed a case and there are witness too.
So he had to go through a lot of pain to get the issue settled and shelled out more than 8000/- as fines and bribes etc. Finally the traffic police informed him that we know you were not at fault but what you should have done is to take those guys to nearest clinic/hospital etc and inform nearest police station. If he would have done this he could have avoided all the pain. So a lesson was learnt that we should take these guys to hospital etc (willingly or forcefully) and inform nearest police station.

That was scary man! I'm glad I didn't went through such ordeal! I will keep this on mind and inform the same to my friends and family. Who knows, this may save us a lot of headache in future! But I am seriously hoping not to have another accident!