Thread Starter
#1
Those of you who have grown up reading auto magazines of the yesteryear - mainly in the 1980s/90s - would know Dilip Bam - the ultimate two wheeler tester that India auto mags have ever seen, and probably will ever see. His road tests were hilarious, insightful, humorous and full of witty remarks. He had his biases but he would religiously test every motorcycle/scooter in his own ingenious way and would not comment anything on the technical aspects of any two wheeler unless he had tested and verified it himself. An extremely talented and qualified individual who wasn't afraid to call a spade a spade, much unlike the motoring journos of today. It was rumored that he has tested and owned every single bike that has been sold (at that time) in India. There was not a single road test report filed by him that didnt had me in splits. He was associated with magazines like Indian Auto (R.I.P) , Car & Bike International (R.I.P), and Auto India. An IITian and XLRI alumnus, Dilip Bam is now 65 years old (the great granddaddy of Indian auto journalism!) and an asst. professor at a management college in Pune and though he does not write for any auto mag now (I think there would be no present day editor who would dare to publish his views, given the way he writes), he is the bikguru at indiabike.com and has launched his own website dilipbam.com (crude but again, hilarious to read his posts). I hope we see more of him. Those of you who remember him/his reviews, please do contribute to this thread - the new generation needs to know about this man and his unique way of testing two wheelers. Leaving with some quotes that I still remember from his reviews:
(On the Suzuki Shaolin having the same body panels as the Suzuki Samurai) : "My sister has a look at the bike (Shaolin) and said - gadhe ke upar ghoda likh dene se gadha ghoda nahin ho jaata" (a donkey doesn't become a horse if you write 'horse' on it)
On the Enfield Diesel: " Though vibrations do not bother the bike, they do bother Dilip Bam"
On the LML Supremo: "In italian , capo di tuti capi means boss of all bosses. The Supremo, then is scooto di tuti scooti".
"You would see that this scooter has very little luggae space. that is because this is not a maal gaadi (goods cart). Anybody who can afford this scooter would have servants to carry his maal (stuff)
On the Kinetic 4S not having a stepped seat : "I personally despise such cusped seats bcoz I don’t like dictators who dictate where I should park my ass! Hell, it’s MY ass, and since I am the driver, I demand the right to park MY ass wherever I feel like, not where the seat maker dictates me to."
On the Bullet Electra : "Dreams are of many types – pleasant, painful, enjoyable, scary, exciting, new, old and many more. Bullet is all this and much more! It is the closest any bike comes to being all things to all people. Being all things to all people is impossible. A theory. That is what Bullet is. A theory. And people love theories. "
On the Honda Eterno: "Being a geared scooter, more solid males would opt for it than liquid females"
On the Honda Unicorn: "Fact is Unicorn is actually the MOST apt name for this bike because the Japanese never do anything without solid logic, Honda even more so. When Alexander invaded India in 326 BC, he saw for the first time in his life a one-horned Indian Rhinoceros (which does not exist in Europe). He named it Uni-corn (Uni=one; corn=horn). Now everyone knows that this bike is the first bike in India to have mono-shock (Uni-shock) rear suspension. Thus, mono=one=uni, and as we all know the shape of a shock absorber is cylindrical like a Rhino horn. The rear end & tail light is also very horny. So what else would you call this bike but Unicorn?"
On the Bullet buyer: "There are two kinds of buyers. ONE is the type who goes to the market to buy a means of transportation and looks for things like low buying price, mileage, quick pickup, faster top speed, attractive looks and so on. This type of buyer is looking primarily for a commuter machine with as many frills and add-ons as possible in his budget.
The other type of buyer is one who goes to buy Bullet. He is one who is beyond commuting. "
On the TVS Apache test bike given to him: "0ne point I would like to mention here is that this bike did not come to me for test as a brand new virgin. Indeed it had already been done more than 5500 km times by male members of the auto magazine community when it came to me."
On Bajaj's DTSi technology : "Welcome to the world of DTSi, which is Pulsating the market so much, that Bajaj Auto has Discovered that fitting DTSi into Eliminator makes it Terminator ! (==Arnold DTSi Schwarzenegger)"
On the Hero Honda Ambition : "Why Ambition? Why now? Two reasons. First, in this high-competition motorcycle business, you have to keep running ahead full speed just to stay where you are or you’ll be left behind. Secondly, you have to keep re-inventing yourself, or else you petrify and die. Ambition is the spur for all activity. Activity is what you DO, because you are what you DO. If you DON’T, you AREN'T!"
On the Kinetic GF150: "The note of the horn is out of this world. The tone of the horn is like a nightingale singing its mating song."
On the Yezdi : "The Yezdi 250 is a low-tech machine with large tolerances. It is an extremely simple design in which very little can go wrong, simply because there is very little to begin with. Remember, ultra sophistication cost much money, and high-precision repairs of high-tech gizmo-baazi costs mush more money which is always in short supply. Also remember: a pedigreed racehorse costing ten lakh rupees runs just a ten-minute race four or five times a year, whereas an ordinary mule, costing just a few hundred rupees, works 12 to 14 hours a day at full capacity, day-in and day-out, every day, Sundays and holidays included, 365 days a year, never falls sick, needs no maintenance and is available to its owner whenever required.Indeed, if you see the doodhwalas (milkmen) of Pune, you will observe that all of them, without exception, use ten-year-old Yezdis to deliver upto 250 litres of milk all over the city, every day (we do drink milk on Sundays, don't we?), 365 days a year, rain or shine, good roads or bad, village or town, kuccha or pucca. Now 250 litres of milk + 250kg, plus the weight of umpteen brass and aluminium containers (50kg) plus rider (70kg) plus pillion (70kg) plus weight of the bike itself (140kg), all adds up to a tidy 580kg, ie much more than half-a-ton! Now tell me, even if the Yezdi gives just 25kpl, it costs less than 0.14 paise per kilogram-metre, which is about the same as what it would cost going doule-seat (rider + pillion + bike = 280kg) on a Bajaj Champion giving 60kpl!"
On storing the bike during the rains: "Now buy some anti-rust paste in a tin can or a tube (like toothpaste) if available and for ease of use. What I do is, I get some fresh grease worth two bucks from costing ten times that amount does, because I am myself a Faltu mechanic, not a sophisticated my corner mechanic and bring it in a sheet of folded paper and use it instead of any sophisticated paste costing many bucks. For me, two bucks worth of Faltu grease does the basic job (of preventing rust) just as well as sophisticated anti-rust paste, Hi-Funda magazine editor, who gets fat revenues from media hype advertisements of such anti-rust paste manufacturers and designer cover manufacturers"
On the TVS Wego : " But the pushlever of the side stand is not visible from my stance. If the pushlever had a different stance or been longer by two inches, my report would have been shorter by two sentences."
Cheers !
Quotes from www.dilipbam.com
(On the Suzuki Shaolin having the same body panels as the Suzuki Samurai) : "My sister has a look at the bike (Shaolin) and said - gadhe ke upar ghoda likh dene se gadha ghoda nahin ho jaata" (a donkey doesn't become a horse if you write 'horse' on it)
On the Enfield Diesel: " Though vibrations do not bother the bike, they do bother Dilip Bam"
On the LML Supremo: "In italian , capo di tuti capi means boss of all bosses. The Supremo, then is scooto di tuti scooti".
"You would see that this scooter has very little luggae space. that is because this is not a maal gaadi (goods cart). Anybody who can afford this scooter would have servants to carry his maal (stuff)
On the Kinetic 4S not having a stepped seat : "I personally despise such cusped seats bcoz I don’t like dictators who dictate where I should park my ass! Hell, it’s MY ass, and since I am the driver, I demand the right to park MY ass wherever I feel like, not where the seat maker dictates me to."
On the Bullet Electra : "Dreams are of many types – pleasant, painful, enjoyable, scary, exciting, new, old and many more. Bullet is all this and much more! It is the closest any bike comes to being all things to all people. Being all things to all people is impossible. A theory. That is what Bullet is. A theory. And people love theories. "
On the Honda Eterno: "Being a geared scooter, more solid males would opt for it than liquid females"
On the Honda Unicorn: "Fact is Unicorn is actually the MOST apt name for this bike because the Japanese never do anything without solid logic, Honda even more so. When Alexander invaded India in 326 BC, he saw for the first time in his life a one-horned Indian Rhinoceros (which does not exist in Europe). He named it Uni-corn (Uni=one; corn=horn). Now everyone knows that this bike is the first bike in India to have mono-shock (Uni-shock) rear suspension. Thus, mono=one=uni, and as we all know the shape of a shock absorber is cylindrical like a Rhino horn. The rear end & tail light is also very horny. So what else would you call this bike but Unicorn?"
On the Bullet buyer: "There are two kinds of buyers. ONE is the type who goes to the market to buy a means of transportation and looks for things like low buying price, mileage, quick pickup, faster top speed, attractive looks and so on. This type of buyer is looking primarily for a commuter machine with as many frills and add-ons as possible in his budget.
The other type of buyer is one who goes to buy Bullet. He is one who is beyond commuting. "
On the TVS Apache test bike given to him: "0ne point I would like to mention here is that this bike did not come to me for test as a brand new virgin. Indeed it had already been done more than 5500 km times by male members of the auto magazine community when it came to me."
On Bajaj's DTSi technology : "Welcome to the world of DTSi, which is Pulsating the market so much, that Bajaj Auto has Discovered that fitting DTSi into Eliminator makes it Terminator ! (==Arnold DTSi Schwarzenegger)"
On the Hero Honda Ambition : "Why Ambition? Why now? Two reasons. First, in this high-competition motorcycle business, you have to keep running ahead full speed just to stay where you are or you’ll be left behind. Secondly, you have to keep re-inventing yourself, or else you petrify and die. Ambition is the spur for all activity. Activity is what you DO, because you are what you DO. If you DON’T, you AREN'T!"
On the Kinetic GF150: "The note of the horn is out of this world. The tone of the horn is like a nightingale singing its mating song."
On the Yezdi : "The Yezdi 250 is a low-tech machine with large tolerances. It is an extremely simple design in which very little can go wrong, simply because there is very little to begin with. Remember, ultra sophistication cost much money, and high-precision repairs of high-tech gizmo-baazi costs mush more money which is always in short supply. Also remember: a pedigreed racehorse costing ten lakh rupees runs just a ten-minute race four or five times a year, whereas an ordinary mule, costing just a few hundred rupees, works 12 to 14 hours a day at full capacity, day-in and day-out, every day, Sundays and holidays included, 365 days a year, never falls sick, needs no maintenance and is available to its owner whenever required.Indeed, if you see the doodhwalas (milkmen) of Pune, you will observe that all of them, without exception, use ten-year-old Yezdis to deliver upto 250 litres of milk all over the city, every day (we do drink milk on Sundays, don't we?), 365 days a year, rain or shine, good roads or bad, village or town, kuccha or pucca. Now 250 litres of milk + 250kg, plus the weight of umpteen brass and aluminium containers (50kg) plus rider (70kg) plus pillion (70kg) plus weight of the bike itself (140kg), all adds up to a tidy 580kg, ie much more than half-a-ton! Now tell me, even if the Yezdi gives just 25kpl, it costs less than 0.14 paise per kilogram-metre, which is about the same as what it would cost going doule-seat (rider + pillion + bike = 280kg) on a Bajaj Champion giving 60kpl!"
On storing the bike during the rains: "Now buy some anti-rust paste in a tin can or a tube (like toothpaste) if available and for ease of use. What I do is, I get some fresh grease worth two bucks from costing ten times that amount does, because I am myself a Faltu mechanic, not a sophisticated my corner mechanic and bring it in a sheet of folded paper and use it instead of any sophisticated paste costing many bucks. For me, two bucks worth of Faltu grease does the basic job (of preventing rust) just as well as sophisticated anti-rust paste, Hi-Funda magazine editor, who gets fat revenues from media hype advertisements of such anti-rust paste manufacturers and designer cover manufacturers"
On the TVS Wego : " But the pushlever of the side stand is not visible from my stance. If the pushlever had a different stance or been longer by two inches, my report would have been shorter by two sentences."
Cheers !
Quotes from www.dilipbam.com
Last edited by a moderator:
![[cheers]](https://www.theautomotiveindia.com/forums/images/smilies/Cheers.gif "Cheers [cheers]")
He's unparalleled & a legend if you ask me.
![[lol]](https://www.theautomotiveindia.com/forums/images/smilies/Laugh.gif "Laugh [lol]")
, BCOZ FINALLY EVERYBODY DIE==CRUSHED!![[clap]](https://www.theautomotiveindia.com/forums/images/smilies/Clap.gif "Clap [clap]")
: 
